Day 3:  Your first love

To start this blog off, I want to quote my favorite tv couple, Castle & Beckett.

Castle: Don't leave me, please. Stay with me. Ok. Kate, I love you. I Love you Kate.

This is exactly how I felt when my first love said it was over.. But let's start from the beginning. :) We met in college. Marching band to be exact. Both of us were freshman coming to ENMU from different sides of the state. He played horn and I played clarinet. (Yay woodwinds!) Being an art major, I wasn't in classes with him, but there was another art major in the band with me who had friended him the first day we moved into the dorms. We all started hanging out and became really good friends. From there, I felt like everything just fell into place. We did everything together. We went to concerts, spent hours upon hours developing photos in the dark room, and even became brothers of KK Psi together. I mean, who wouldn't want someone that writes this to you.

in times of weakness I shelter myself in your embrace
find comfort in your presence
and clothe myself in your voice
and find the burning strength of love without condition

He was my best friend.

After our freshman year was over, we both had to go back to our homes across the state. And let me tell you, that was the hardest summer, being away from him. We would skype almost every day, and run our phone bills up with late night calls and texts. In June, I had planned to take a trip to go see him. It was so much fun to see the town and finally meet his family and friends. I could see myself apart of his life and family. I just felt that it was meant to be.

August finally rolled around, and we were back together again. It was great! But towards Decemeber and winter break, I just knew something wasn't right. Being away from each other was starting to take another toll on us and I could kind of tell, he was pulling away. School started back up in January and within the next few weeks, he told me it was over. I still remember the exact words he said to me. I love you. But I'm not in love with you. Talk about a shot through my heart. I could see a future with this man, and in one night, it was just gone.

That whole semester was hell. We both were still in band and KK Psi together, so I just couldn't seem to get away. Luckily, I had my friends to help me through it all. After what seemed like months of crying and not eating, I was starting to get more involved in my art classes and being able to release that stress was just what I needed. The year and a half relationship that I invested so much in, helped me be who I am today. And one day, I know I will find that one guy that will make me just as happy, if not happier, then I was when I was with him.